YES WE DID!

There really are no words...today was a historical night for all of us. No matter what your political affiliation or belief, you can't deny how important this night and this future president is for us all. Never have I been emotional on any political issue or any nominee until this year. For the first time, I felt hope when casting my ballot for the next president. Tonight was an amazing evening that reduced me to tears of pride and joy. Change has certainly come to America, and I couldn't be prouder of our nation; I have never been prouder in my life to be an American.

OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES

As a blog writer, I have to admit this whole thing feels a little self indulgent sometimes.  I write (predominantly) about theater and am always pleasantly surprised when people actually read this thing.  I mean, most people are not racing to read my blog (no offense taken) and those that do, are in perfect company with myself and the other big theatre geeks.  There are a lot of blogs out there that touch on not-so-important points, topics, issues, etc. but like mine, a lot aren't really filled with amazing writing.  Yet, when I stumbled upon Matt Logelin's blog recently, I discovered something pretty darned amazing (his story is so heartbreaking and I couldn't begin to do it justice, so if you are so inclined, you can read about his story here first or the feature written in the Star Tribune).

From the day I first heard of Matt and his story, I was rivited.  I sat and read the entire blog from "cover to cover".  His story made me (mostly) cry but I also laughed and my heart ached for this new family.  It has become something that I check daily, curious to see how Matt & his daughter are doing.  I knew just how much it affected me when I recently saw a robot (something frequently mentioned in the blog) necklace and thought of the blog or when I was at Amoeba today and again thought of the blog.  Yes, this is weird because I don't know them, but I can't help but to find myself really rooting for them and as he writes about days that are less painful, it brings a smile to my face.  

This whole story has got me thinking again about how important a father's role is in their child's life.  I'm sure Matt couldn't possibly imagine doing anything less for his daughter than he's doing now.   And I'm sure that Matt doesn't really think of himself as a "hero" per se, but just being a good father and being the kind of father that would make his wife and daughter proud.  A good father is rare these days it seems and his blog just reminds me how great a father Matt is to his baby girl and it brings tears to my eyes.  Dads, take note and Liz...you were a very lucky lady (though I can bet that Matt and all of your friends & family thought they were the lucky ones for having known you).

Is it really bizarre for me to write all of this?  See, this is why having this blog is self-indulgent.  Anyone who reads this entry though...please do visit Matt's blog, its some of the best writing I've read in ages...and it will forever affect your heart.

THE MOVIE IN MY MIND

I’ve been debating whether to blog about this, because while autism doesn’t affect me personally, how its affected me is deeply personal. Hearing children’s stories about their struggles with autism has hit me straight in the heart. I actually started tearing up in class, feeling extremely sad at the difficulty these children go through and also overwhelmed at their successes. I’ve been keeping a personal journal of my new experiences and was so moved by what I experienced that I wanted to share a little of it…here is a short except of what I wrote tonight:

Today we had a brief introduction to autism. The statistics are frightening. There is no real cause, rhyme or reason why children are developing it, yet it is becoming more common every year. Between 1987-2002 in California alone (per the Department of Developmental Services), the number of caseloads of children with autism has grown like 634%! During the summer of 2004, the occurrence of autism was every 1:166 at a rate of 5 boys to every 1 girl. Three years later, its occurrence changed to 1:150 children develops autism or a related disorder like Asperger’s Syndrome by the age of eight (CDC, 2/8/2007). Nobody understands exactly why its growing. It could be the mercury or heavy metals in immunization shots or environmental factors including food that these children’s parents have grown up around. Nobody really knows though. What’s frightening is that it’s more common than multiple sclerosis, cystic fibrosis or childhood cancer! And the next few years, I’m sure these statistics will even be more flooring.

Seeing those faces, prisoners in their own bodies and minds, it’s a tragedy. Some have such severe autism that they can’t function. What happens to their families and how difficult must it be for everyone involved. There are people though who are “high functioning”, some of which are brilliant like Sue Rubin, the subject of the Academy Award nominated documentary called Autism is a World produced in association with CNN. Somehow, she too finds a way to make it through one day at a time. My professor is friends with her and the stories are amazing and inspiring.

Autism is a real problem. I have friends who work with children who are autistic and its by no means an easy job. Some have burned out, some even get bitten by their students and its all extremely frustrating. If you think about it though, some of these children don’t have a way to release their pent up emotions or even communicate. How then do they get it out? I just read how speech classes might help some of these children, but it doesn’t help all of them. There is no rhyme or reason why it works for some vs. others...

I am by no means an authority on any level when it comes to understanding autism. Hearing about it though, really struck a chord with me. It really puts my own life in perspective. When I see these kids, I am inspired to do more and to do good for all of them. I’m proud to go into a field that makes a difference (particularly because I worked for so long in a field that was the polar opposite of this one). Working in special ed is a selfless job, one that will be immensely difficult, I know. I’m not kidding myself, I don't have a romanticized view of what it will be like. I do know that I am appreciating this whole experience much more than I ever thought I would.

FOR GOOD

FOR GOOD
~From the musical Wicked by Stephen Schwartz

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

COULD YOU?

What (not who) do you really love? What was the last thing you did for yourself that brought you an overwhelming sense of joy? The last thing I did for myself (and sadly it was awhile ago) that filled me heart & soul was my trip to New York with Tianyi. It was a trip that was years overdue and will always be something that I will look back on fondly. It was a trip filled with shopping, eating and enjoying Broadway shows (did I mention this was also a business trip for myself? Haha, it was, but felt like more of a vacation in some ways). Of course some of why I loved the trip had to do with the city I love, the places we visited and the person I was with, but a huge part of it had to do with all of the musical theatre we indulged in.

I love music and more specifically musical theatre. This obviously is not a huge revelation to anyone who has read this blog (even once). Musical theatre is my first love and is what I’ve wanted to be involved with off and on for the last 25+ years and more seriously in the last decade. In some ways, I defined myself by my passion for this art-form and was happiest when I was in a theatre (working in it or as an audience member). Theatre has encouraged me to dream, flooded me with emotion (both good and bad) and has been what has inspired me everyday. I’ve said it before, but musical theatre is what has made me who I am today…which is why seeing Little Women: The Musical really spoke to me. The lyrics (below) described exactly the fire I had to make a difference (in theatre, maybe?). The realization of this"astonishing" feeling has to do with personal fulfillment and maybe it has nothing to do with a professional accomplishment.

There's a life that I am meant to lead,

Alive like nothing I have ever known.

I can feel it and it's far from here.

I've got to find it on my own.

Even now I feel its heat upon my skin:

A life of passion that

Pulls me from within.

A life that I am aching to begin.

There must be somewhere I can be

Astonishing..."

~ from "Little Women: The Musical"

Sometimes doing the very thing you want/need/have to do doesn’t give you all the results you want, but if you do what you know in your heart is the right thing, in the end, could it really be wrong?

SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY

Its funny how I always seem to come back to the following thought: What you may think you want isn't what you really need. I've been reminded on more than one occasion (and throughout my life) of this thought. When I was a little girl, I had an idea of how my life would be at different stages and when I got to these milestone ages (12, 16, 21 etc.), my life seemed to be the polar opposite of what I thought I wanted my life to be like. What I've come to realize though is that we can never plan things out in advance and ensure that things are the way they are supposed to be, sometimes what happens just happens and that is ok too. Maybe that is the way it was supposed to be.

Lately I'm realizing that everything really does happen for a reason. Whether it be because you believe in God, fate or whatever the case, it sure seems like there is a rhyme and reason for everything even though it may not be clear from the outset. Right now, I am here at this stage in my life feeling the way I do because of my life's journey. The decisions I've made up to this point have been because I thought I was following a path towards one goal when really I was slowly veering off in the wrong direction and eventually became lost (and didn't even know it). Though I tried to chart my course with all the planning possible, things didn't necessarily turn out the way I thought they'd be due to unforeseen circumstances. We can't plan for everything (though we may think we have control over our own lives). What I've learned must happens is that we must accept that change is good, because from change we grow and when we grow we gain perspective. None of this is a groundbreaking or particularly insightful thought...it is basic and common to most, but something we must all learn to understand (and accept) at some point. I'm only glad I've discovered them now (and not must later).

PS: Wow, after reading it, I think this post sounds really preachy and self-important...maybe too much so. Oh well, it's the thought I had just sitting here trying to figure "stuff" out.

BOOKS

It figures that a freakin' survey (thanks, Maureen) would get me a bloggin' (sorta) again. If you want me to blog...send me a survery...I'm bound to do it 9.5 out of 10 times! :) By the way, "Books" isn't a song title from a musical, but I'm too lazy to think of one that fits.

One book that changed your life: Its not just ONE, but The Little House on the Prairie series were the first set of books that got me excited to read and learn and imagie. I believe I was 7 (maybe 8) when I first begged my parents to buy them for me while we were on vacation.

One book that you've read more than once: Nisei Daughter by Monica Sone...it is the story of a young girl's experience during the Japanese internment camps during World War II. All of these books about the Japanese internment gives me a better idea of what it was like for my relatives.

One book that you'd want on a desert island: Good grief, I don't know! If I were on a deserted island, I don't think I'd want to read...just find a way off!

One book that made you laugh: How boring am I...I don't think I've read a funny book in so long that I can't even remember! What I read is far too tragic and serious!

One book that made you cry: Angel Pawprints. This collection of stories and poetry was given to me by my vet the day we put Miss Cookie Miyuki down. Everytime I read it, I just sob.

One book that you wish had been written: Someday, I will finish the story of my grandparents' lives together...its the story I've always known I was meant to write.

One book you wish had never been written: Its a vanity series written by someone I wish I never knew.

One book you are currently reading: "The Year Of Magical Thinking" by Joan Diddion. One moment, Diddion and her husband come home from visiting their young daughter in the hospital (who was lying in a coma) and then next thing she knew, her husband has a massive heart attack and dies. How she makes sense of the year after...well, I haven't gotten that far yet, but it chronicles her thought process. So far, very interesting...very sad.

One book you've been meaning to read: Like Maureen, I've been meaning to read Les Miz for a long time. Acutally, I've been on page 22 for the last fourteen years, so maybe I'm not trying that hard!

HAPPINESS

If only life were still this simple...it was nice being a kid.

"HAPPINESS"
from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
Music & Lyrics by Clark Gesner

Happiness is finding a pencil
Pizza with sausage
Telling the time

Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying you shoe
For the very first time.

Happiness is playing the drum
In your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Knowing a secret
Climbing a tree.

Happiness is five dif'rent crayons
Catching a firefly
Setting him free.

Happiness is being alone ev'ry now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.

For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness is having a sister
Sharing a sandwich
Getting along-

Happiness is singing together when day is through.
And happiness is those who sing with you.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime, too

For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

WHAT REMAINS

Typically, I don't do a whole lot of reviews of anything other than theatre, music or something that has some relation to one or the other. While I've neglected this blog lately, the other thing I've been neglected for far too long are my books. I have a stack that I have yet to read. Once upon a time, I used to read a lot -- teen serials (ie, The Baby Sitters Club, Sweet Valley High), magazines, classics, really as many books as I could manage to read at any one time. Unfortunately college changed all of that. When you major and minor in subjects where all you do is read (I would average anywhere between 2-4 a week!) it tends to burn you out. Since then, sadly I tend to average about 2 books a year (in their entirety) unless it is something outstanding.

About a month ago, I finally got around to picking up a memoir that has been on my "must read" list since it's publication, What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship and Love by Carole Radziwill. I, like many millions of people am one of those who continue to find the Kennedy family intriguing. I don't even remember when my interest began, but it was likely due to some kind of influence from my mother. I read as many books as I could about the family, watched many of the movies made about "Camelot" and found particular interest in our family trips to Boston, Cape Cod and Washington, D.C. all of which were steeped in Kennedy family history.

While I wasn't around when his father's life was cut short, I do remember where I was when I heard that John Kennedy, Jr.'s plane went down. I turned on the news for some strange reason that morning (typically not the first thing I turn to on a weekend) and sat there shocked at the news (I don't think I turned the TV off the entire day). Immediately, I remember thinking how sad it was...then wondering what it must be like for his sister, Caroline who only a few months earlier lost her mother as well.

The day that John Kennedy, Jr.'s plane went down, a chapter undoubtedly in the Kennedy legacy ended. While Americans mourned the loss of the man who will always be remembered as little boy whose saluted his slain father, Carole Radziwill lost two of her dearest friends. While reading her memoir, I wondered what that must have been like and how I couldn't possibly imagine her deep loss (particularly considering her husband, John's cousin, Anthony Radziwill was dying of cancer).

Carole Radziwill writes a honest and loving account of her five year marriage to Anthony (who had cancer the entire length of their marriage --a tumor was found on their honeymoon, five years after his testicular cancer went into remission). While caring for her husband and dealing with the emotional stress of having a sick spouse was obviously difficult and often times heartbreaking, Carole got through it particularly because of the love and support of Anthony's best friend and cousin John Kennedy, Jr. and his wife and Carole's best friend, Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy.

While many might think this memoir has the potential to capitalize on the Kennedy family and their unfortunate tragedy, Carole Radziwill does just the opposite. She brings a real face to John and Carolyn making them out to be the best friends you always wish you had. The stories weren't about becoming tight with who we've come to consider as American Royalty, but about real people who had real love and concern for each other. In describing the close bond John and Anthony had for each other, she writes: "John is Oscar to Anthony's Felix. If Anthony is the angel, the well-mannered school boy, John is the scamp...Watching them, I can see they can't stand too close to each other and can't bear to be too far apart." In reading that, it is instantly easy to understand their bond.


In a three week time span, Carole lost her best friends -- the people who helped support her during the most trying moments of Anthony's illness -- and then enduring the greatest loss of all when her husband lost his battle with cancer. Losing three loved ones in less than a month is a tragedy that nobody should ever have to endure. This isn't really a story predominantly about death but one about love -- what it means to love your friends, your family and to be in love. It is the urgency that comes from that love -- needing to provide comfort and protection to those who have become a part of your heart and soul. Though it is a terrible loss that nobody can truly understand, Carole found a way to write with great heart and truth to provide a greater understanding for us as the readers and I think in some ways for herself.

As a person who too understands the heartbreak that comes with loss, I admire the way Carole was able to find a way to live...one day at a time. Though you never get over death, you find a way to survive.

PS...

I really wasn't planning on posting about the Tonys tonight, but then I figured I had to add my two cents in regard to the musical numbers, so here I go (I will try to keep it short...and keep in mind that I'm ridiculously tired so if my sentences don't make sense...oh well):

* The Drowsy Chaperone: While I adore Sutton Foster, I just wasn't impressed with "Show Off" during tonight's telecast (though I am listening to it for some reason as I type this). It was sadly one of the weakest musical numbers and lacked the energy and spunk that it had when I saw the show in L.A. This realization shocked me a little because Foster is one of the most energetic, charismatic performers and even if the people around her lack pizazz, her energy tends to shine through anyway.

* Sweeney Todd: I don't have a lot to say about this performance as I haven't yet been able to fully listen (or watch the DVD for that matter) any version of this dark show. The performance tonight was great -- Michael Cerveris & Patti LuPone were strong.

* Jersey Boys: When I'm wrong, I will admit it and I was wrong about Jersey Boys. This cast has so much energy and talent that it was exuding off of my uncolor balanced TV screen. Sadly, I once disregarded this show, miscategorizing it as another fluff jukebox musical...I might be wrong. While I've yet to actually see the show in person, the energy in the performance tonight really blew me away! Everyone I know who has seen the show has raved about it (and recommended that I see it) but I didn't believe them (who feels stupid now?) If tonight is any indication of what kind of talent we have in the cast and particularly John Lloyd Young (as Frankie Valli), then I cannot wait to see what else this guy can do -- he truly deserves his Tony Award! Heck, I might even buy the cast recording...the show seemed THAT good!

* The Wedding Singer: Last week, the cast of The Wedding Singer performed on the Today show. Though the cast had to be up early and had perform outside that day, I wasn't so impressed by what they had to offer. Today though, inside Radio City in front of thousands of theater professionals & fans alike, the cast of The Wedding Singer did a really outstanding job (performing the same number as on the Today show). While I'm not a big fan of turning this movie into a musical (though an obvious choice) I was highly impressed with the energy of this cast. As a show overall, if given the chance to take it or leave it, I'll likely chose the latter. Do I see it as quality material? Not so much. But it does gets points for the choreography which was very fun and everyone on stage looked like they were having a blast!

* The Threepenny Opera: Alan Cumming & Cyndi Lauper on stage...in leather? I don't know when the show opened, or why they revived it with some gay undertones (or was it that way from the beginning)? Both Cumming & Lauper gave very strong performances with amazing voices. I'm not so familiar with Kurt Weil's show, but if a cast recording comes out with this cast, I'll definitely be interested in listening to it.

Tribute to Hal Prince: I love Hal Prince. I think he's a genius and does terrific work. Brian Stokes Mitchell presented a very short tribute to Prince and quickly highlighted his prolific repetroire. So, it was quite a shame when the longest running musical in Broadway history (Phantom) decided to perform a drastically cut-down version of "Music of the Night" and then messed up! Howard McGillin (the Phantom) must have been on auto-pilot when he didn't note the key & style change and proceeded to sing the wrong line then caught up and finished the song (badly). Anyone who has heard that song must have heard his obvious mistake. What's worse is that this performance was to celebrate a lifetime achievement award to a director then his actor screws up the performance...ahhh the irony.

* The Pajama Game: I love this show. I love it everytime I listen to my CD with John Raitt & Janis Paige and loved what Kathleen Marshall did with this version starring Kelli O'Hara & Harry Connick, Jr. (who did "There Once Was A Man" as well as the cast which performed "Hernando's Hideaway"). Connick added a lot of jazzy rhythm to the show which was also very impressive and also added an interesting (but good) new twist.

* The Color Purple: Oprah introduced the show's performance of "Hell No" and the repirse of "The Color Purple" tonight. She was well spoken (as usual) and proud of what the show has given to those who have made the trek to see it. I wasn't impressed with the "Hell No" number, but absolutely saw why LaChanze deserved her best actress in a musical award during the performance of the show's title track. LaChanze has got quite a voice and seems to do a fantastic job in this role. I'm sure Oprah was proud of the 1 (or was it 2) awards that her show won tonight (of the 11 it was nominated for).

Ok, that's it for now...oh, and I missed Hugh Jackman...he was nice to watch as host of the show for 2 years.

I CAN'T HATE YOU ANYMORE

iTunes is the best and worst creation ever. I'm just hyper because I bought a certain album by a certain member of a now-defunct boy-band. For people like me who thrive from immediate gratification, woo hoo, it's fantastic! On the flip side, it feeds into my immediate gratification needs. Comme ce, comme sa. You hear a song you like? Go to iTunes and you can download the song for an affordable $0.99 (or $9.99 per album). No tax, no handling fee. Like I need to "sell" iTunes to anyone reading this. If you're reading this blog, you're "with it" enough to use the internet and iTunes and have probably spent more money than I have buying songs you just can't live without. Who am I kidding, it really is the best (not the worst) creation ever. Simple, easy, and oh-so-satisfying.

ALL WE'VE GOT TO SAY

This morning, Phylicia Rashad, Natasha Richardson and Liev Schreiber announced the nominees for The 60th Annual Tony Awards. To say I was underwhelmed following the announcement of the musical nominations was a definite understaement however that is probably due in part to my feeling of the entire past Broadway season -- weak. On the positive side, at least the genre isn't virtually non-existant as in the case with previous years.

There are some years when Broadway is hot -- several great shows by talented composers performed by equally talented performers. There are also years when the musical variety on Broadway is slim pickins as it was in 1995. Sunset Blvd. was one of two shows nominated for the "Best Musical" category during the 1995 awards (and won). That's it, two shows. One by The Phantom of the Opera himself, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and the other, a Leiber & Stoller musical revue -- Smokey Joe's Cafe. It would have been difficult for me to respect the Tony committee had Sunset Blvd. lost to it's competitor. In my book, Smokey Joe's Cafe was one of the shows that kicked off the whole "jukebox musical" phenomena and anyone who reads this blog knows that I'm not a huge fan of that type of musical experience. Luckily, I didn't have to repeatedly hit myself upside the head in frustration.

Last year I felt was a great year for Broadway, there were amazing new shows like Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Light in the Piazza, Monty Python's Spamalot and The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. Each of these shows were unique, creative musicals that contributed something positive to the genre (all of which I might add are still running on Broadway). Dirty Rotten Scoundrels maintained the humor and wit of the film while creating an entirely unique take and perspective on the characters and story through music; The Light in the Piazza, based on the novella by Elizabeth Spencer was a beautiful and touching story about a mother and her mentally challenged daughter on vacation in Italy in 1953, the daughter's romance with a handsome, high-spirited Florentine, and the mother's determined efforts to keep the two apart with sweeping melodies reminiscent of music from the Golden Age of Broadway; Monty Python's Spamalot is a hilarious musical based on the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail with an original score by Python creator Eric Idle and John DuPrez; The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is a comedic portrayal of young overachievers experiencing a hilarious tale of overachievers' angst while chronicling the experience of six adolescent outsiders vying for the spelling championship of a lifetime. All four shows nominated for the 2004-05 season were distinctly unique, entertaining and special. As a side note, I was excited about all of these shows last season before seeing any of them. My problem last season was what to see (there were almost too many). I'm really not always as closed minded to new musicals as it will soon sound.

This year however, I was positively underwhelmed by the selection of new musicals gracing the Great White Way: The Drowsy Chaperone, Jersey Boys, The Wedding Singer and The Color Purple. The Drowsy Chaperone had the potential to be amazing, but it just wasn't. I was disappointed that I disliked it as much as I did (read my pan here). I adore Sutton Foster but I just didn't like The Drowsy Chaperone one bit. I wasn't surprised that the show swept the Tony nominations this year as it was one of the most anticipated shows of the season, but for me, it was one of the worst, boring pathetic attempts at a musical comedy. Call me a theatre snob, but I just can't bring myself to see Jersey Boys. I've heard its good and unlike the typical "jukebox musicals" out there, but if I'm going to see a musical, I'd rather spend my $100 at an original show that teaches, inspires and entertains. Is that too much to ask for? Probably. My thoughts on The Wedding Singer are a little bit different and I don't think I'm as stubborn where this one is concerned -- I'm on the fence when it comes to my pre-conceived idea of this show. The Wedding Singer is based on the film with an original score but I can't help but wonder why make this show into a musical? Was this a potentially easy sell because of its popularity on the silver screen? Is the music that great? The story that entertaining? I can't say for sure as I have yet to see it. Am I interested? No. I am more skeptical of The Wedding Singer than I was with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Why? Give me a good concrete reason to be interested in The Wedding Singer and then maybe I'll give it a chance. I listened to the music online and it wasn't nearly as smart, catchy or witty as David Yazbek's music for other movie turned musicals: The Full Monty and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

The only new musical of the 2005-06 Broadway season that I have heard and will give (a little more than) half a chance to is The Color Purple. My open-mindedness has nothing to do with the well-known producer of The Color Purple either. Though this musical is based on yet another film, its transformation from heavy drama into musical format is (from what I've heard so far) decent. It is more reminiscent of the old-school musical format than other new shows of the current season. It has music that tells a story and explains emotion that words alone cannot. This might be a very simplistic way of defining a good musical (for me) but it is one of the elements I observe when I see a good musical. So the music might not be written technically as ingenious as Sondheim or as ground breaking as Rogers & Hammerstein (back-in-the-day) but The Color Purple has heart and so far, seems to be the best new musical of the new season.

Ask me my opinion of the best revival musicals of the 2005-06 season or the recipient of the lifetime achievement award...and I will tell you that is a post for another day. I have thoughts...many thoughts...

THE MUSIC OF HEAVEN

It's been awhile since I've posted here. Lots of random thoughts have been running through my head, nothing worth posting unfortunately.

So I haven't been writing nor have I been listening to music much lately. Interesting enough (to me at least) I think there is some sort of correlation between my lack of posting with my lack of listening to music. As any regular (or irregular) reader of my blog will note, that my writing largely focuses on music, specifically on musical theatre and that is what really inspires my writing. Even if my writing has nothing to do with musical theatre, there is something about the genre that helps bring about my need to write (and I generally do listen to it while writing). For some reason though, I couldn't even bring myself to listen to my music and enjoy it as I usually do. Was I going through a music dry spell? Were showtunes finally getting to be too much for this admitted showtunes fanatic?

To answer myself, yes, sometimes music (or any "obsession") can get draining, particularly when one listens to it with the same fervor and ferocity as I do. After weeks of hibernation, I finally turned on my iPod and tuned to Music of Heaven after reading JRB's inspiration for writing the song. Like JRB, I too have "only the most distant relationship to religious faith" but for some reason, the lyrics to this song are as powerful to me as JRB's experience sitting in the theatre listening to the Broadway Gospel Choir. For me, music has always been able to express feeling and emotions that words cannot and in hearing Music of Heaven and JRB's inspiration for the song, I was reminded of this even more. There have been times when music was the only thing that I could really understand and connect with because it has a way of bringing out my passion for life and all the other things I love. So once again, I credit JRB's music for inspiring me...because I really connect with his writing and in all seriousness, it brings out something that fuels my soul.

* * *

Music of Heaven
by Jason Robert Brown

I come with my armor in place,
Emotions in check,
And thinking I’m smarter,
Or just more realistic.
I sit with my frozen smile,
All the while
Reluctant to trust what I’m told.
Cynical, cold,
Challenging music of Heaven
To open a crack in my chest
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Should puncture me, suddenly
Blessed, blessed, blessed -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

They sing and they cry and I watch,
Lean back in my chair,
The classic New Yorker,
Alone among millions,
Indifference upon my face,
Out of place,
But longing to feel what you feel...
Like it was real;
Like there could be music of Heaven
That opened some path to your soul
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Allows you to give up control ...
Yes, yes -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

And I sit there with dry eyes
And cold hands
Judging and standing apart.
Dry eyes
And cold hands,
Waiting and wondering
When will it open my heart?
When will it open my heart?

When will I open my heart?
I hear you sing
I hear you sing (Holy Father!)
And I want to say, “Yes!” (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Yes!)
I hear you singing... (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I want to sing (Holy Father!)
I want to sing Holy Father! (Holy Father!)
And I want to say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Say yes! Holy Father!
Say yes!

Yes!
I need to sing (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I need to cry
I need to believe! (Holy Father!)
And I can say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes (Holy Father!)
Yes... (Yes!)
I can say yes, yes, yes (Yes!)
I will say (Yes!)
Yes, yes, yes... (Yes, yes, yes...)
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin

HERE I AM

Personality tests...I seem to never tire of them for some reason. Enter: Personal DNA: "your true self revealed." I think this is somewhat indicative of my personality...parts of it I'm not so sure I agree with, but nonetheless:

Genuine Visionary

And what does it say about me? If you must truly know:

About You:
You Are a Visionary

Your imagination, self-assuredness, and knowledge of the world combine to make you a VISIONARY.

You have clear notions of how things could be, and the confidence to try to make them that way.

You enjoy having a routine, and prefer comfort and familiarity to risk and adventure.

Not needing others' approval to forge ahead, you are confident in your designs for the future.

Your imagination allows you to envision the world as a better place.

You're better at thinking of the big picture than you are with details, and you can see wonder in abstract things.

Style and appearances are important to you, and you have a good eye for beauty.

You are somewhat rigid in your beliefs, which comes from both confidence and an aversion to change.

You are good at creating works of art in forms with which you're familiar.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

Appreciate the earthly, functional elements of things.

Your clarity of vision sometimes prevents you from being open to new ideas. Try expanding your horizon of experiences, and experimenting with novel ways of doing things.

How You Relate to Others:
You Are Genuine

Your outgoing personality, your preference for order, and your cautious appreciation of others makes you GENUINE.

You aren't afraid to occasionally be the center of attention. You are comfortable and confident in social situations.

As a charismatic kind of person, you tend to be energized by other people and enjoy their company.

When other people are upset, you are able to think about the situation rationally, without getting too caught up in their feelings.

At times you find it difficult to understand where other people are coming from, and wish they could just see things the way you do.

You are a strongly principled person who believes in right and wrong. This helps you make decisions easily when it comes to moral issues – you don't have to waste time hedging on important values.

In your experience, people tend to get what they deserve. Because of this, you work hard and try to follow your principles in your day-to-day life, knowing that you will be rewarded for your efforts.

If you want to be different:

You have many friends, but you only trust a few of these people when it really counts. Opening yourself up to more of your friends will help you create more strong and meaningful relationships.

Be cautious when judging someone—try harder to understand his or her perspective—and you will become a more intuitive person.

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM...?

Though I mostly write about theater in this blog, I do have other interests, one of them being writing in an attempt to fulfill my overactive imagination.

Recently, I came upon a basket of old stories I knew I had but hadn't looked at since my youth. Back in those days, I had a pretty vivid imagination and loved to tell stories of the life I wish I lead. Mostly, I wrote about being friends with teen sitcom actors of the '80s, Bette Midler (back then, I was obsessed with Beaches and even hand-wrote 176 pages of what I thought the sequel should be) and a few script/story ideas for shows like Who's the Boss and somewhere there's one for Saved by the Bell. Ever since I pulled those old dot-matrix printed copies out from hiding, I keep thinking about how much I used to enjoy writing.

Don't get me wrong, I was a "cool" kid...but during my summer vacations, I found more pleasure in settling into my dad's home office and letting my imagination soar as I saved all of my ideas onto my own old school DOS floppy disk. I could sit for hours writing and often did. I hung out (or "played" as I guess we called it too) with my friends from time to time, but it was far more rewarding for me to create scenarios for myself interacting with Mark-Paul Gosselaar or Danica McKellar or being someone of influence. On some level, even at 10, 11 & 12 years old, I thought my writing was brilliant and that someday, when I became an "adult," I would achieve something amazing and that my writing would be equally recognized. Yes, I had quite the imagination and an even larger ego...particularly back then.

Back in the day, I was an avid reader too and would tear through the recent copies of The Baby-Stitter's Club or Sweet Valley High and wonder if one day I would be the next Ann M. Martin or Francine Pasqual. I loved to write because I loved the creativity and the idea of fulfilling my greatest fantasies. I found inspiration in Laura Ingalls Wilder's tales of life on the prairie and in the passion L.M. Montomery's Emily (from the Emily of New Moon Series) had for writing. It's funny...ever since I graduated from college, I don't read much of anything anymore -- it's even hard enough to get through a copy of InStyle these days. Since I stopped reading, I've also stopped writing almost altogether (except for those times when I get a burst of energy and I post something here). Back then, I always had something to say or a story to tell...I had an uninhibited imagination.

I think I realized back then that everybody has a story to tell and even though my thoughts and ideas might not appeal to everyone, the effects of my imagination might inspire somebody else and how great is that? I know it sounds perhaps a little presumptuous, but I think I always thought or maybe hoped, that on some level, I was destined for greatness and somehow each time I created these stories, I was one step closer to achieving it. As an adult, it's always a struggle to find your way back to the ideas and dreams you once held dearly...particularly when you are consciously aware that you temporarily abandoned it.

A LITTLE FALL OF RAIN

Tonite, it is pouring rain...I love the sound of it at night -- hearing it hitting the pavement at a slow but steady beat when I'm home, bundled up, safe and warm. There's something romantic and beautiful about the rain -- how it sounds, what it looks like and the mark it leaves on the ground which glistens under the moonlight. Hearing the "drip-drip-drip of the raindrops," for some reason has also always made me unusually introspective...

RENT

I realize I get a little sentimental and sappy when it comes to talking about Jonathan Larson, the heart and soul and composer of Rent. As I've mentioned in other posts, his work is so inspiring because in his music, I not only hear the themes of love, but I feel it -- I hear a love of the art form, a love that never was or almost is...romantic love, fraternal love etc. and that's something I've never felt or heard as an overall theme in any other composer's work. More than that though, Larson's work to me, represents what I've always wanted and seen. To him, it is a passion for the art-form, the desire to make it his own, and the drive to succeed. With previous posts, I've tried to convey what his music and work means to me, but I don't think I ever truly can.

So yesterday, when the soundtrack for Rent came out, I had to rush out and buy it. I traveled over the hill to Tower on Sunset just to get the CD on it's street date. I guess I'm a little obsessive, but as I've said before, I take my musical theatre very seriously. The marketing masterminds at Warner Music thought it would be a great idea to have limited edition cardboard sleeve covers of each of the 8 principal characters -- I picked Taye Diggs' (Benny) cover. Of course I actually thought how cool it would be to have each of them...but I digress (and no, I don't need 8 cardboard sleeves). I've seen Rent only 4 times (I can't compete with the TRUE Rent-heads) but I've listened to the music more than I care to admit. I know each note and word of the musical well enough to be obsessive (almost). I was curious to hear how this soundtrack would differ from the "OCR" (Original Cast Recording) and how would I respond to this show, with 6 of the 8 principals, nearly 10 years later.

Some might say that listening to the soundtrack now might ruin my initial response to the film...but considering how well I know the show, that couldn't happen. On my way home, I settled into my car, turned up the volume, and let the music play. Track 1 was "Seasons of Love" which in the stage version, opened Act II, so hearing this surprised (but didn't bother) me. I will spare you all the painstaking track by track comparison cos even I'M not willing to go through that much detail. I did hear a difference between the 2 versions, the main difference being the "OCR" vs. the soundtrack is the obvious rock & roll vs. Broadway sound quality. It should be noted that Chris Columbus (the film's director) is also the album's executive producer, so thankfully he was able to carry the essence and authenticity of Larson's vision from stage to film in the new recording. Rob Cavallo, the album's producer infused "a new energy and spirit into this music" with "all of the cuts on this album remining faithful to the Broadway origins" and as Chris Columbus said in the album's liner notes, this album is "richer and multi-layered."

It might seem obvious that the album is decent if it is music FROM the film, but so was the film version of The Phantom of the Opera and the composer was involved in THAT recording which was the most henious thing I think I've ever heard. Thankfully though, the music from the Rent Soundtrack is surprisngly good. It is different from the OCR, but the sound (to me) really fits the nature of what this film is all about.

The original cast members sound great, if not better than they did on the OCR...one should hope so. The newest additions to the cast, Rosario Dawson (Mimi) and Tracie Thoms (Joanne) are excellent. I had no idea that Dawson sang, but from the few times I've listened to the album so far, she seems to pull off the complex, tragic and vulnerable Mimi quite well. Vocally, her range seems to be a bit lower than that of her predecessor, Daphne Rubin Vega. Thoms voice is also rich, but higher and more sweet sounding than that of her precessor Fredi Walker. She too does a great job as Joanne, and I actually prefer her interpretation.

Overall, the Rent Soundtrack is grittier, more acoustic sounding and raw while maintaining a sense of humor and vulnerability more-so than I even imagined it could be. From the sounds of the soundtrack and what the trailer looks like, the film version could possibly surpass my love of the stage version. To admit that, is huge because everyone knows my loyalties and love, lies with the stage...always.

When it comes to musical theatre, I can be a big theatre snob, and because of that, I can be overly critical. I know though, what I do and do not like. And I like Rent in both "OCR" and soundtrack form. I am grateful and thrilled to hear the voices and interpretations of these characters being brought to the silver screen by the actors who created and nurtured these characters from the beginning under the guidance of Jonathan Larson. Knowing that the Larson family -- Julie, Nan and Al -- support the film and that Chris Columbus not only genuinely believes in maintaining the "integrity and vision" of Larson's work, but somehow shares it, is amazing and comforting because the very essence of Rent is so beautiful.

When I look at Jonathan's journal entry, I believe he succeeded in fulfilling the question of how to write for the stage tenfold. I only wish he were here to see what'd he's done for pop culture...his work has touched and changed the lives of nearly everyone who has ever been exposed to it.

As written above by Jonathan Larson: I am striving to become a writer and composer of musicals -- I am 25 and am faced with a dilemma. Although I am a sentimental romantic who loves old fashioned musicals I am a member of a very unsentimental romantic generation who basically think musicals are too corny. I feel that if I want to establish myself with "the powers that be" in the theatre, I must compose music that appeals to the older cast in the production houses and audience. But if I want to try to cultivate a new audience for musicals I must write shows with a score that MTV ears will accept. If you were me, which audience would you write for?

Also note, included on the album as a bonus track, is one of my favorite songs, Love Heals. The song has provided me with much comfort and encouragement in my darkest as well as brightest of days. Larson wrote Love Heals while working on Rent to help in the efforts of Love Heals - the Alison Gertz Foundation for AIDS education. The producers included the bonus track as a tribute to Jonathan and to help futher the cause of AIDS education.

Rent hits screens nationwide on November 23.

IS THERE NO OTHER WAY

I have an issue with the trailer for Memoirs of a Geisha. Keep in mind, this is a film about JAPAN and JAPANESE people yet all of the alleged Japanese people don't even look Japanese! Maybe that's because they aren't! Isn't it obvious that Zhang Ziyi is Chinese or did the casting directors think that all Asians look alike, so who will notice? Being Japanese, I find myself slightly (but only slightly) offended by this casting choice. Keep in mind, typically I don't really care about issues like this, but this time, maybe because of the subject of the film, it just doesn't seem right. Maybe it would be one thing of Zhang Ziyi was the only Chinese person with any prominence in the film, but after watching the trailer, very few of the actors appear to be Japanese. Out of eight of the principal characters, only half are Japanese:

Ziyi Zhang.... Sayuri Nitta (Chinese)
Ken Watanabe.... The Chairman (Japanese)
Kôji Yakusho.... Nobu (Japanese)
Michelle Yeoh.... Mameha (Chinese)
Kaori Momoi.... O-kami (landlady) (Japanese)
Youki Kudoh.... O-Kabo (Pumpkin) (Japanese)
Li Gong.... Hatsumomo (Chinese)
Kenneth Tsang... General (Chinese)

I suppose I expect this fictional-historical film to be more authentic. With the many talented Japanese actors out there, I would have liked to have seen more of them cast in this film. My expectations are unrealistic though, I know. I'm all for the idea of chosing the best actor for the role, but at the same time, actors like Zhang Ziyi look too authentically Chinese to even resemble being Japanese. Did anyone notice that Zhang Ziyi has blue eyes in this poster? Though Japan has many advances before the rest of the world, I don't think they had colored contact lenses in the 1800's. C'mon people. I mean, REALLY!? Of course, this is Hollywood, so...why the heck am I complaining? I should know better!

ASTONISHING

Maybe the reason I loved Little Women the Musical is because I can really relate to Jo. Of course the reason this story -- from the novel to the many films and the musical even -- is so popular is because many little girls can relate to her energy and drive.

When I was a little girl, like Jo, I wanted to be a writer -- this was one of my first goals and dreams. Laura Ingalls Wilder was my inspiration and I believed that one day, I would write great stories. I believed my life would be one I could only dream of, so in the meantime, I would write about it. I wrote things from scripts to "teen serials" (a la The Babysitter's Club/Sweet Valley High) to sequels of my favorite book (Beaches) to the life that I wanted to live with the people I wanted in it. I wasn't willing to settle for anything less than my dreams. Nobody would convince me otherwise and like Jo, I knew that "I'm meant for something more" And somehow, I had to know.

And while I always held my dreams -- no matter how many times they were thrown or seemingly dashed -- I never forgot what it was that I had to do with myself...until I experienced devistating loss -- Papo and Mamo's deaths.

So I know how Jo felt when she lost Beth. I know the pain, the confusion, feeling like giving up...trying to find meaning in what happened and then realizing that by giving up, I am giving up on those who loved me and who I lost...and that I couldn't allow my dreams to die with them. Life certainly goes on...and though it is sometimes hard to accept, it must.

I guess I should really re-read the story again.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

How do we know when "enough is enough?" I wish I knew...I wish I knew if I was just being impatient or wise. I'm not quite sure what to do these days. It's not so easy now to know if your decisions are hasty or thoughtful...you just have to trust yourself. The question is: can I trust myself? I know if I don't make a decision one of these days, I'll really be screwed. But I can't wait for the truth to come to me...I must face it head on and follow through. **sigh** I think I'm giving myself an ulcer.