[part of it all]

Yesterday, I finally had an opportunity to see [title of show] at Los Angeles' Celebration Theatre (and it was fabulous).  I have been a fan of the show before (the real life) Hunter, Jeff, Susan and Heidi ever brought the show to Broadway and I was incredibly bummed when the show closed too soon; it was absolutely one of the Broadway shows that I was hoping I would get an opportunity to watch.  Unfortunately, when it ended, [title of show] only played 102 regular performances and 13 previews on the Broadway, but I am happy to report that it lives on in regional productions.

[title of show] really is a show for anyone who has ever had a dream to create.  Sure, its a show about "two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical" but at closer inspection, its not just about writing for musical theatre.  At its core, [title of show] has incredible heart fueled predominantly by the (characters of) Hunter and Jeff as they struggle to create a show for the NYMF (New York Musical Theatre Festival).  When you sit back and watch the show take shape, you see a show that is funny, well constructed and tells a good story with four pretty solid characters who truly bring their own personalities and contributions to the story (which is a good thing because they are based on the real-life Hunter Bell, Jeff Bowen, Susan Blackwell and Heidi Blickenstaff).  Its more than just a show about writing a musical, its a show about friendship, dreams coming true, the creative process of giving life to an art form and just the right amount of humor and emotional strife.  However if you aren't a musical theatre geek, some of the inside-musical-jokes may be lost on you.  Don't get me wrong, I think it will still be funny even if you aren't an insider, but will be even funnier if you are well, "in the know."

I have been listening to the cast recording of [title of show] for over two years now but first discovered it while bored one day at work and perusing the musical theatre annals of YouTube.  When I came across the first two or three episodes of the [title of show] show, I thought it was super campy and quirky and "at first I'll admit I was a little bit, WTF," but somehow it hooked me.   The chemistry between the four actors was apparent and it became hard to differentiate between the characters' personas and the real life personas in their series of vlogs.  Jeff was more of the straight-laced guy who seemed to keep everyone more (or less) grounded, Hunter was determined and focused, Susan was super quirky but hilarious and Heidi was the legit professional "Broadway actress." These vlogs were to me, brilliant on so many levels.  As I said, they were super campy and yet totally funny but SO smart!  How? Well thanks to YouTube, the [title of show] show was a totally free, grass roots marketing and publicity campaign that really did grow the brand, brought awareness to the show and it took off.  The [title of show] cast had complete autonomy on how they wanted to be portrayed, how often and when they posted their vlogs and each episode coincided with a number from the show.  BRILLIANCE, says I.  The [title of show] show could also be viewed as a companion piece to the actual [title of show] (musical show).   Either way, it will make sense if you (carefully) listen to [title of show] and then watch the [title of show] show. See what I mean? Brilliance.

As a minor PS, I have to again discuss that [title of show] also has one of my favorite ballads ever in it.  I won't be repetitive because I wrote about A Way Back to Then in a previous post (so if you are so inclined, you can read it here).  This song is (in many ways) about me and hearing it live (though I didn't love the performer's voice who sang it when I saw the show) it was still emotional because not only does it describe me, but many-a geeked out theatre fans out there too. 

I recently re-watched this (see below).  When it was closing, the folks at [title of show] reached out to their fans and 600 of us participated in this project - big time Broadway folks and regular peeps alike - all of whom loved and supported [title of show]; I think I'm in good company.  See if you can find me:







I heart [tos]!If you have an opportunity to see [tos] in your town, do it! 

THE OLD RED HILLS OF...WASHINGTON HEIGHTS

The end of an opening act¹:

God Bless the sight
Of the old hills of Georgia
The Old Red Hills of Home
(Kneel Down to)
Praise those who'd fight
For the Old Hills of Georgia
For those proud and valiant men
We'll sing "Dixie" once again
For the men of Marrietta
For the the brothers of Cobb County
For the fathers of Atlanta
For the patriarchs
Who gave everything for Georgia
And the Old Red Hills of Home

The end of Act 1²:

Look at the fireworks...
Look at the fireworks...
Look at the fireworks...
Look at the fireworks...
Light up the night sky...
Light up the night sky...
En Washington--
Look at the fireworks...
Look at the fireworks...
Light up the night sky...
Light up the night sky...
En Washington Heights!

Two vastly different shows that take place in eras that spans many, many years; two of my favorite modern musical theatre writers/composers whose styles are so very different. I listen to their work when I need inspiration because these shows elicit such different emotions and reactions in me. These shows never fail to remind me why I admire thes writers of these original musicals, what I love about the theatre and why I have chosen to do what I'm doing: bridging a gap and creating opportunities. Thank you, JRB & LMM!

1. The Old Red Hills of Home from Parade by Jason Robert Brown
2. Blackout from In the Heights by Lin-Manuel Miranda

my written [tos]timonial

As I thought about all the musicals I've seen and enjoyed (and even those I didn't care for) I began thinking about why. What is it about musical theater that I relate to and appreciate more than any other genre or art form? The word that keeps coming back to me over the course of the last several years (and in this blog) is inspiration. Musicals are the reason that I once aspired to be an actress, its truly what motivates and inspires me on some level everyday, it keeps me sane in a sometimes insane world, it says things more beautifully and eloquently than I can ever with more emotion than I can ever convey and...I love it more than any other genre in the world.

I have certainly been inspired by [title of show]. Initially, one might not think of it as being a show that screams inspiration. It is mostly funny and appropriately campy about everything from friendship to life and dreams coming true. [title of show] reminds me to think about and acknolwedge my own dreams...and somehow, in its 90 minutes of laughter and tears, finds a way to take me back to the root of who I was as a little girl: "hearing Andrea McArdle sing/From the hi-fi in the den/I've been waiting my whole life/To find a way back to then"...and I think it takes a pretty darned talented writer and cast to do that. Really, what show can make you feel the way you did when you were five? What show can make you laugh and cry and inspire you all at the same time? Very few. I know, it sounds dramatic and corny, but really anyone who has ever dreamed can understand (and particularly so if you thought the starry lights of the Great White Way were ever in your future).

So tonight, after only 13 previews and 102 performances, [title of show] will dims its lights at the Lyceum Theatre for the last time during its current run. I will think of Susan Blackwell, Heidi Blickenstaff, Jeff Bowen and Hunter Bell and the quirky, smart, funny, catchy, heart-warming show they so lovingly brought to me and the lucky others who have been affected by [title of show].

"This is the last line of the show" might be particularly poignant as the final line of [title of show] tonight, but all is not lost or gone for good...stay tuned...I still see a future for this show and this cast...and if nothing else:

Season 2 of the [title of show] show...coming soon!

A WAY BACK TO THEN

This is my new favorite song from [title of show] (a great musical whose grassroots marketing/PR plan I think was  brilliantly hi-larious and genius)! The song is so me (except for the fact that I'm not currently starring in a Broadway show about wanting to star in a Broadway show)...I think a lot of little girls who were obsessed with Annie (in a crazy way like I was) can identify with these lyrics.  I have definitely found my own version of a way back to then...thanks to Jeff for a great song!

A Way Back to Then

Music and Lyrics by: Jeff Bowen

Dancing in the backyard

Kool-aid moustache and butterfly wings

Hearing Andrea McArdle sing

From the hi-fi in the den

I've been waiting my whole life

To find a way back to then

I aimed for the sky

A nine-year-old can see so far

I'll conquer the world and be a star

I'll do it all by the time I'm ten

I would know that confidence

If I knew a way back to then

So I bailed on my hometown

And became a college theatre dork

I was eastbound and down

Moving to New York

So I crammed my life in a U-Haul

To find my part of it all

But the mundane sets in

We play by the rules

And plough through the days

The years take us miles away

From the time we wondered when

We'd find a way back to then

And when you least expect

Opportunity walks through the door

You suddenly connect

With the thing that you forgot

That you were looking for

And there you are

Right in the middle of what you love

With the craziest of company

You're having a kick-ass time

And being who you wanted to be in this world

You're that little girl

With her wings unfurled

Flying again

Back in your backyard dancing

I found a way back to then.

SING ME A HAPPY SONG

Awhile ago, Georgia Stitt posed the question to her readers one she was asked during an interview: What are your 12 all time favorite musical theatre songs? This got me thinking and I realized that as much as I love musicals, that I think my own exposure is quite limited. Actually, I had a really hard time coming up with my own favorites and noticed that though I own quite a few cast albums, in the grand scheme of things, I really don't. Regardless, I thought I would indulge in something slightly obsessive and fun...like my own list of songs. In no particular order...and also, this is not my list of "all time" but rather my list of the moment or rather some of my favorite Sondheim songs with a few other sprinkled in. Actually I kept adding then removing songs...otherwise this list would have almost entirely been all Sondheim!

• Loving You (from Passion): The song is simple, short and haunting. During my musical theatre "rebirth" while in high school...this song caught my ear and was one of the ones that made me want to really discover Sondheim.

• Music of Heaven: Its really not so much a musical theatre song, but a song that I really relate to. I posted about it awhile back and everytime I hear it (which is quite often), it makes me think about life/religion/music etc.

• How Could I Ever Know (from The Secret Garden): This musical is based on Frances Hodgson Burnett's classic work. It is lovingly sung by the ghost of Lily to her husband: "How could I know I would have to leave you/How could I know I would hurt you so/You were the one I was born to love/Oh how could I ever know?/How could I ever know." It is probably the most heartbreaking songs I know and equally beautiful.

• Love to Me (from The Light in the Piazza): Again, I posted about this song before from my favorite modern musical by Adam Guettel (grandson of the legendary Richard Rodgers). The song is simple, straightforward and lovely and perfect.

• The Schmuel Song: (from The Last Five Years): Quite simply a great song: great structure, great melody, great story-telling and well written.

• This Nearly Was Mine (from South Pacific): Its sappy and quite simply, I've always loved it.

• Meadowlark (from The Baker's Wife): The quintessential alto audition song, but I always loved the story it told.

• The Miller's Son (from A Little Night Music): What I love about Sondheim is how he can so beautifully construct a set of lyrics. I think I've always loved the alliteration in this song...and so effective!

• I Remember (from Evening Primrose): has got to be one of the most beautifully descriptive songs. Its gorgeous, I love it!
  

• Soliloquy (from Carousel): The best and most honest inner monologue. Nobody does it like John Raitt.
  
  
• Tomorrow (from Annie): My musical theater obsession began with a red headed orphan named Annie and the rest as they say is history. As a little girl, I sung this more often than I think any other song anywhere and everywhere I could.

SOMETHING TO SAY

The initial statement below may be surprising to anyone who has any kind of relationship or knowledge of who I am. Brace yourself kids...the first blow may hurt (and it even gets its own paragraph), but it gets better!

I realized rather recently that I'm getting really tired of listening to showtunes.

Shocking?!

Yes, I know there are other genres of music out there and yes, I'm listening to everything else out there too. It surprises me though how much I am tiring of showtunes...I'm going through a dry spell I suppose. I have my standard staple of shows that I love and will always love, but you can only listen to those so many times. Then, there is the newer stuff that just...isn't any good. So...the only music from the genre I can tolerate (and rather like) is still JRB's (Jason Robert Brown for you newbies of my blog). I decided to take a re-listen to Parade and guess what, I like it. I never really got into Parade in '99 (the year it was nominated for and won Tony Awards) because it didn't really appeal to me. Now though, after careful listening and an understanding of the story, it has become my album du jour (or des jours...cos heaven knows I'll be listening to it for awhile).


After I stumbled upon JRB's The Last 5 Years (TL5Y) (and loved it), I became absolutely fascinated by his work. I sort of went in reverse order when "discovering" the remaining body of his work -- first came TL5Y then came Lauren Kennedy's album of his songs, JRB's own solo album, then Songs For A New World and finally through process of elimination came the show that first brought him to the greater public's attention: Parade.

Though I've had Parade for sometime now and have listened to it often enough, I never really discovered its sound and its story. On the whole though, everything I've heard that he has composed is just so rich and multi-layered. Listening to his work is like eating a gourmet meal...haha, JRB's work is like a feast for the ears! When JRB writes, what he writes means something. There are few words that are lost in meaning or intent in his shows and songs. Heck, even his blog is interesting! It is witty, intelligent and fascinating...kind of like his songs.

What I discovered from my careful, almost obsessive listening to JRB's work, is that his music has a very distinct sound, and his lyrics for the most part are substantial, meaningful, intricate and carefully constructed. When he writes a song, it makes a statement and its intent is so hauntingly beautiful that it stays with you. Example? This week, I can't stop listening to the song "All The Wasted Time" (click to listen) from Parade. In short, this show is based on the story in Atlanta, GA (1913) of Leo Frank, a Jewish factory owner falsely accused and convicted of murdering young Mary Phagan. The song "All The Wasted Time" marks the emotional climax of the show sung by Leo & his wife just before he is kidnapped and executed.

ALL THE WASTED TIME
Music and lyrics by Jason Robert Brown

LEO
I will never understand
What I did to deserve you,
Or how to be the man
That I'm supposed to be.
I will never understand
If I live a thousand lifetimes
Why you did the things you did for me.
Just look at you -
How could I not be in love with you?
What kind of fool could have taken you
For granted for so long?
All the wasted time,
All the million hours,
Pushing you away,
Building up my walls;
All the days gone by
To glare, to pout, to push you out,
And I never knew anything at all
I never knew anything at all.

LUCILLE
I will never understand
How all the world misjudged you
When I have always known
How lucky I must be.
I will never understand
How I kept from going crazy
Just waiting there till you came home to me.
Now look at me
Now that you're finally here with me -
Now that I know I was right to wait
And everyone else was so wrong
For so long
All the wasted time

LEO
All the wasted time

LUCILLE
All the million hours.
Years on top of years
Still too proud to crawl -
All the days gone by
To feel that I don't satisfy
And I never knew anything at all
I never knew anything at all

LEO
All the wasted time

LUCILLE
All the wasted time

LEO
All the million hours.

BOTH
Leaves too high to touch,
Roots too strong to fall.
All the days gone by
To never show I loved you so
And I never knew anything at all.

LEO
I never knew anything
At all...

Ok, I know that music is personal and that we all connect to sounds, lyrics, etc. based on our own preferences and or experiences etc., but as with every JRB song I listen to (and some I admit I like less than others), I connect to each one. Of all the songs from Parade, I think that this song is probably the most lyrical and maybe even the most appealing to listeners. Maybe that is why he posted it to his website. There is definitely a distinct JRB sound in Parade and it is easy to hear the pop-rock-blues-gospel influences intermixed throughout the show.

Ok, so its obvious to anyone who reads this blog that I have an on-going love affair with the music of JRB. Maybe the reason other modern musical theatre writers (except for Adam Guettel -- he's amazing too) bore me is because they don't have the multidimensional complexity that JRB's music does. For you musical theatre naysayers, JRB is different; he's fresh, modern and doesn't so much possess the schmaltzy quality in his work that some writers (past and present) have been known for.

JRB: I know you'll see this at some point...and I know its usually the crazy people who claim their sanity, but really...your work reminds me how much I love modern musical theatre.

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A FRIEND

I know I am a big blog neglecter, when I log into blogger and realize that this post (written in March!!!) was in draft mode, when really all I should have done was to proof it before hitting "publish post" and never did! Yikes!!!


"And if your heart is always breaking
Cos the world is just not fair
When you're at your worst
Your friend is the first one there
Giving you something to lean on
And that's it means to be a friend."

I went to see the premiere of JRB's new musical, "13" at the Music Center a few months ago. Other than reminiscing about my own sensitive teenage years, one of the things this show did for me was remind me how important good friends are. As I sat in the darkened theatre with my favorite theatre pal (Tianyi of course), and heard the incredible voice of the young actress sing, "What It Means to Be A Friend," all I could think about was how lucky I was to have such good ones, particularly the one sitting next to me. I also know that it wasn't just "luck" that we were randomly paired up as roommates in college.

Friends are a dime a dozen, but finding a good friend, a real friend, a true friend is much harder to do. I've seen examples of great friends and not so great friends lately. Its the great friends, the people who really care are the ones that give me a little bit of hope in humanity. Quite a statement yes, but really one that gives me hope and encouragement in my own life.

Friends are great to laugh with and scheme...talk about silly things. When it comes to life and things that really matter, a true friend will always be there. A true friend though cares about your well being and says the things nobody else can. A true friend cares about your heart and soul not just about having a good time and superficial nonesense. I love my friends dearly and feel truly blessed to have such great people in my life.

Ok, so that's where the original post ends and my P.S. follows below:

I was actually supposed to review "13" but I just couldn't bear to because it really wasn't so great and bashing my favorite modern composer is something that even I didn't have the heart to do. I was emotion-less pretty much through the entire show until "What It Means To Be A Friend" was performed. I am a pretty emotional person so it doesn't take that much to make me cry. So when I heard this song, I understood that sure, I'm not 13, but really, no matter how old we are, we obviously all need a friend.

Complete lyrics to the song by JRB (click on the link and listen to it too!):

What It Means To Be A Friend (from 13)
Music and lyrics by Jason Robert Brown
©2007 Semolina Farfalle Music Co. (ASCAP) All rights reserved.

A FRIEND’S NOT A CHEAP LITTLE PHONY CREEP
OR A JERK TRYING TO MAKE A DEAL.
A FRIEND IS A PERSON WHO, MOST OF ALL,
CARES ABOUT WHAT YOU FEEL;
AND NOTHING IS HARDER
THAN LEARNING A FRIEND ISN’T REAL.

A FRIEND SENDS NOTES BACK AND FORTH ALL DAY
AND DOESN’T CARE THAT YOU CAN’T SPELL.
A FRIEND KNOWS YOU’VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOUR TEACHER,
BUT A FRIEND WOULD NEVER TELL.
A FRIEND’S OUTSIDE WAITING
THE MINUTE YOU BOTH HEAR THE BELL…

AND IF YOUR HEART IS ALWAYS BREAKING
‘CAUSE THE WORLD IS JUST NOT FAIR,
WHEN YOU’RE AT YOUR WORST,
YOUR FRIEND’S THE FIRST ONE THERE,
GIVING YOU SOMETHING TO LEAN ON –
AND THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A FRIEND.

A FRIEND WON’T SMOKE WHEN SHE’S IN YOUR ROOM
OR LAUGH AT THE POEMS YOU WRITE.
A FRIEND WON’T GO AND START KISSING YOUR BROTHER
THE MINUTE THAT YOU’RE OUT OF SIGHT.
A FRIEND IS THE PERSON
YOU CALL SIXTEEN TIMES EV’RY NIGHT…

AND IF YOUR HEART IS ALWAYS BREAKING,
AND YOU WANT TO RUN AND HIDE,
WHEN YOUR HOPE IS GONE,
YOUR FRIEND IS ON YOUR SIDE.
IF SOMEONE MOVES IN ‘ROUND THE CORNER
AND YOU WANT TO SHOW HIM YOU CARE,
SO YOU GIVE HIM ALL YOUR LAST MONTH OF VACATION
AND ALL OF THE TIME YOU CAN SPARE,
AND THEN, ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES,
HE ACTS LIKE YOU’RE NOT EVEN THERE,
THEN HE DOESN’T KNOW…
HE DOESN’T KNOW!
HE’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE
A FRIEND.

FOR GOOD

FOR GOOD
~From the musical Wicked by Stephen Schwartz

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

COULD YOU?

What (not who) do you really love? What was the last thing you did for yourself that brought you an overwhelming sense of joy? The last thing I did for myself (and sadly it was awhile ago) that filled me heart & soul was my trip to New York with Tianyi. It was a trip that was years overdue and will always be something that I will look back on fondly. It was a trip filled with shopping, eating and enjoying Broadway shows (did I mention this was also a business trip for myself? Haha, it was, but felt like more of a vacation in some ways). Of course some of why I loved the trip had to do with the city I love, the places we visited and the person I was with, but a huge part of it had to do with all of the musical theatre we indulged in.

I love music and more specifically musical theatre. This obviously is not a huge revelation to anyone who has read this blog (even once). Musical theatre is my first love and is what I’ve wanted to be involved with off and on for the last 25+ years and more seriously in the last decade. In some ways, I defined myself by my passion for this art-form and was happiest when I was in a theatre (working in it or as an audience member). Theatre has encouraged me to dream, flooded me with emotion (both good and bad) and has been what has inspired me everyday. I’ve said it before, but musical theatre is what has made me who I am today…which is why seeing Little Women: The Musical really spoke to me. The lyrics (below) described exactly the fire I had to make a difference (in theatre, maybe?). The realization of this"astonishing" feeling has to do with personal fulfillment and maybe it has nothing to do with a professional accomplishment.

There's a life that I am meant to lead,

Alive like nothing I have ever known.

I can feel it and it's far from here.

I've got to find it on my own.

Even now I feel its heat upon my skin:

A life of passion that

Pulls me from within.

A life that I am aching to begin.

There must be somewhere I can be

Astonishing..."

~ from "Little Women: The Musical"

Sometimes doing the very thing you want/need/have to do doesn’t give you all the results you want, but if you do what you know in your heart is the right thing, in the end, could it really be wrong?

LOVE TO ME

I've been a big blog neglecter. I'm not saying I'm "back" to posting (sorry to the 5.7 or so of you who actually might read this thing). I have been inspired to post about my current song du jour though.

Recently I went to see The Light in the Piazza at The Music Center's Ahmanson Theatre (review is forthcoming...and LONG overdue). While I have seen the show on PBS' Great Performances and know the music and story backwards and forwards, I had no idea the show I was going to see would affect me in the way that it did.

Music interpretation is a very personal thing and of course varies from individual to individual. Obviously, there are so many reasons why we interpret a song the way we do or why it touches our heart deeper on some days vs. others. Life, stress, the weather, random thoughts all affect why and how we interpret and are touched by various forms of music. Somedays there are songs that I just can’t get enough of because they comfort me or remind me of a time in my life that I want to hold onto. Maybe that’s the reason I obsess over certain songs and play them until I feel like it has become a part of my soul.

The evening that I saw Piazza, the music and lyrics hit me straight in the heart. Over the course of the two hours the show filled my heart with love, cracked it a little, made me feel slightly hopeless and then rebuilt it again. When the show was over, as with real life and love, I was exhausted, but more in love with the show than I was before. It was the most beautiful musical I think I’ve seen to date and the most meaningful.

Between each of the characters were relationships experiencing love at different stages and in different ways. Love was blooming between Clara & Fabrizio, flailing between Margaret & her husband Roy, experiencing jealousy between Giuseppe & Franca. Piazza is not just about romantic love, but also familial and even religious love. The show showcases love and the fragility and depth of it as an emotion. It reminded me how deep we can feel about a person if we allow ourselves, how broken we can feel when we think it’s gone and how much stronger we become as individuals and with others when we find resolution.

The first time I heard the music from this show, I was completely overcome. It was moving, lush and to me soulful in a way that I really can’t explain. Over the course of hearing the music, I found a connection to each of the songs, focusing on one and experiencing it’s meaning, it’s emotion, and it’s expression. “Say it Somehow” was the first song I heard, and immediately I was in love. I thought this had to be the most romantic song of two young people declaring their love. After awhile though, as I randomly moved through the album, I realized that the song that I thought was the sweetest, most romantic expression of love was “Love to Me.”

Overhearing something her mother says on the phone, Clara is made aware that she is somehow different from everyone else. She is frightened that her impending marriage to Fabrizio won’t happen once he finds out who she really is. As she’s breaking down, he sings “Love to Me” to his future bride, I found it to be the sweetest, most loving gesture I’ve ever seen on stage. And as he’s singing this to her, I literally felt my heart open up, feeling hopeful not only for these characters but for my own life. This hopefulness reminded me of how much we need love, any kind of love – to be loved, to express love and to love others. It wasn’t only about love though, it was about acceptance for who and what we are, and isn't acceptance something we all long for?

Adam Guettel is a genius. He was able to take this novella by Elizabeth Spencer and found a way to manipulate the listener with this music that flows through the ears and into the heart. One doesn’t merely hear or see The Light in the Piazza, but feel it (this doesn’t mean that you are have to like it). Maybe it’s too emotionally taxing for some, but if you’ve ever been loved by anyone – I think you are bound to be moved somehow by this show.

The more I listen to each of these songs, both individually and collectively, I find that The Light in the Piazza is a metaphor for our lives. If we open ourselves and allow the light to flutter in, it will fill our soul and we will never be the same again and be better because of it. The light will open our eyes, lighten our hearts and our souls but the darkness will forever weigh us down.

* * *

LOVE TO ME

~Music & Lyrics by Adam Guettel

The day we meet,
The way you lean against the wind,
And do not know that you are beautiful,
Or that anyone is watching you,
This is what I see.

And I notice how you hunger for surprise,
And do not think that you are tall enough,
Like you’re standing on a mountainside alone,
This is what I see.

Ohhh…
You’re not alone.

Now I see as I have never seen before.
Since that moment in the square,
When you’re hat is carried in the air,
Just so you can chase it,
Just so I can be there,
This is how I know,
This is what I see,
This is love to me.

HAPPINESS

If only life were still this simple...it was nice being a kid.

"HAPPINESS"
from You're A Good Man Charlie Brown
Music & Lyrics by Clark Gesner

Happiness is finding a pencil
Pizza with sausage
Telling the time

Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying you shoe
For the very first time.

Happiness is playing the drum
In your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Knowing a secret
Climbing a tree.

Happiness is five dif'rent crayons
Catching a firefly
Setting him free.

Happiness is being alone ev'ry now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.

For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness is having a sister
Sharing a sandwich
Getting along-

Happiness is singing together when day is through.
And happiness is those who sing with you.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime, too

For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

THE MUSIC OF HEAVEN

It's been awhile since I've posted here. Lots of random thoughts have been running through my head, nothing worth posting unfortunately.

So I haven't been writing nor have I been listening to music much lately. Interesting enough (to me at least) I think there is some sort of correlation between my lack of posting with my lack of listening to music. As any regular (or irregular) reader of my blog will note, that my writing largely focuses on music, specifically on musical theatre and that is what really inspires my writing. Even if my writing has nothing to do with musical theatre, there is something about the genre that helps bring about my need to write (and I generally do listen to it while writing). For some reason though, I couldn't even bring myself to listen to my music and enjoy it as I usually do. Was I going through a music dry spell? Were showtunes finally getting to be too much for this admitted showtunes fanatic?

To answer myself, yes, sometimes music (or any "obsession") can get draining, particularly when one listens to it with the same fervor and ferocity as I do. After weeks of hibernation, I finally turned on my iPod and tuned to Music of Heaven after reading JRB's inspiration for writing the song. Like JRB, I too have "only the most distant relationship to religious faith" but for some reason, the lyrics to this song are as powerful to me as JRB's experience sitting in the theatre listening to the Broadway Gospel Choir. For me, music has always been able to express feeling and emotions that words cannot and in hearing Music of Heaven and JRB's inspiration for the song, I was reminded of this even more. There have been times when music was the only thing that I could really understand and connect with because it has a way of bringing out my passion for life and all the other things I love. So once again, I credit JRB's music for inspiring me...because I really connect with his writing and in all seriousness, it brings out something that fuels my soul.

* * *

Music of Heaven
by Jason Robert Brown

I come with my armor in place,
Emotions in check,
And thinking I’m smarter,
Or just more realistic.
I sit with my frozen smile,
All the while
Reluctant to trust what I’m told.
Cynical, cold,
Challenging music of Heaven
To open a crack in my chest
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Should puncture me, suddenly
Blessed, blessed, blessed -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

They sing and they cry and I watch,
Lean back in my chair,
The classic New Yorker,
Alone among millions,
Indifference upon my face,
Out of place,
But longing to feel what you feel...
Like it was real;
Like there could be music of Heaven
That opened some path to your soul
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Allows you to give up control ...
Yes, yes -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

And I sit there with dry eyes
And cold hands
Judging and standing apart.
Dry eyes
And cold hands,
Waiting and wondering
When will it open my heart?
When will it open my heart?

When will I open my heart?
I hear you sing
I hear you sing (Holy Father!)
And I want to say, “Yes!” (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Yes!)
I hear you singing... (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I want to sing (Holy Father!)
I want to sing Holy Father! (Holy Father!)
And I want to say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Say yes! Holy Father!
Say yes!

Yes!
I need to sing (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I need to cry
I need to believe! (Holy Father!)
And I can say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes (Holy Father!)
Yes... (Yes!)
I can say yes, yes, yes (Yes!)
I will say (Yes!)
Yes, yes, yes... (Yes, yes, yes...)
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin

IT SUCKS TO BE ME...

...Everyone's a little bit racist...the internet is for porn...I'm not wearing any underwear today...no, I'm not screaming out for attention (ok, maybe just a little) these are song titles from that semi-politically incorrect, somewhat honest, hilarious 2004 Tony Award-winning musical romp otherwise known as, Avenue Q.

Has musical theater reached a new low or found a new way to present itself? Puppet sex, racism, closeted gay Republicans...except for the puppet sex part, it's not so far off from the truth, is it (and if puppet sex strikes your fancy, I for one don't want to hear about it). As the tagline for the show says, "Avenue Q...Just like your life only funnier."

Though Avenue Q is amusing, there are truths in the show which not only tickles the funny bone, but makes it relatable to it's audience. Essentially, the show highlights the newest conundrum facing young-adults -- a phenomena otherwise known as the "quarter life crisis." Trying to navigate life after college is a very legit concern and an issue that more and more young people seem to be up against.

When the audience is introduced to Princeton, Avenue Q's star, we meet a bright-eyed recent college graduate who comes to New York City with big dreams and the naivete of reality. He can't pay his bills (much less find an apartment) because he can't get a job and feels like his college degree is useless. Princeton winds up on Avenue Q (the only place he can afford) where he meets fellow puppets with various backgrounds and experiences who share similar struggles in life that are universal -- finding a meaningful job, love and purpose in life.

These days, it seems like more and more young people find themselves trying to identify who they are in that stage between college-student and working adult. As young people, we spend the first 22 years of our lives going to school with a purpose to get to that next stage -- getting good grades in order to pass to that next grade level, ultimately hoping to get into a good college in hopes of a job that will pay well and bring us "personal fulfillment." It doesn't seem like too tall of an order...until you have to actually do it. After college, many grads take 1 of 2 roads (professionally): returning to their parents' home, sitting around scratching their heads wondering, "now what" while taking a hiatus from life and essentially "mooching" off their family while others get what they think is their dream job, but wind up feeling as if their life is ticking away hating where they are feeling stuck, frustrated and overwhelmed. As Princeton lamented, "but somehow I can't shake/the feeling I might make/a difference to the human race" which too demonstrates the struggle that not only his character but others have experienced in trying to make their mark in their respective lives.

Young people face huge life-changing decisions in their struggle to find a sense of self, direction in life and finding that balance between personal and professional life. Avenue Q more than demonstrates this with the various relationships struggles particularly between Princeton and the shows other characters. In particular: when Kate responds with "a note of defiance" to the end of her relationship with Princeton, she considers, "There's a fine, fine line between together and not/And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got./You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime.../There's a fine, fine line between love/And a waste of time." Life changing events can trigger people to take stock of who they are and what they really want for themselves and often times, it comes back to the need of finding some kind of purpose and personal fulfillment.

The irony in this musical, is though it's a show about growing up and finding that ever-elusive purpose in life, Avenue Q is a show where the main characters are puppets reminiscent of a time in our lives when "purpose" was a thought a million miles away and Sesame Street was king.

Though Princeton feels like he'll never find his "purpose" he bemoans life's difficulties at the conclusion of the show and is reminded that nothing is permanent: "Only for now!/For now there's life!.../For now there's love!.../For now there's work!/For now there's happiness!.../For now discomfort!.../For now there's friendship!/Only for now!.../Don't stress,/Relax,/Let life roll off your back/Except for death and paying taxes,/Everything in life is only for now!"

Words to live by, wouldn't you say?

Who knew a musical about puppets going through life's crises, living on an adult-like Sesame Street in 2006 were so knowledgeable! Avenue Q is definitely not your grandparent's musical...that's for sure!

Catch Avenue Q:
On Broadway at the Golden Theatre Tuesdays-Sundays
In Las Vegas at the Wynn Hotel through May 28

PRETTY MUSIC

It's no secret that I just adore the work of Jason Robert Brown. I've written plenty of posts about his shows, songs, lyrics etc. It seems everytime I really listen to any of his music, I find new reasons to love his songs. With each listen, I discover new ways of interpreting the lyrics and sometimes, I even find a new understanding of myself.

There are times when a set of lyrics are particularly striking to me upon first listen and that is when I really take notice of a song. If I am hearing a show for the first time on CD (which throughout the years has often been the case) I fully immerse myself in what I am hearing. I tend not to listen to a show superficially, because when I listen to it for the first time, I want to be completely attentive and present. Sometimes I think the attention I pay to lyrics is the same attention I paid to poetry in all of my English Lit classes in college. Yet when they are song lyrics, you interpret and judge the song not only with your head but with your heart because music is something you feel.

For as much as I love Sondheim, in some ways, I think I love the work of JRB even more because his music strikes a chord in my soul. I realize this sounds super cheezy, but when I hear his music and read his lyrics, the way I relate to it comes from somewhere deep within me. Maybe this is why after two years, I can still listen to The Last Five Years and each time, find a new understanding of the show. JRB's work fascinates me -- it is fresh, interesting, thought provoking, intelligent, what Broadway needs and one of the reasons I love musical theatre so much.

I first heard about JRB when Parade was nominated for a Tony Award in 1999, yet I've never heard the score in it's entirety (until now, I just purchased it on iTunes). I'm amazed though that I never heard any of his work until I discovered The Last Five Years. Now it seems that I prefer listening to almost anything written or performed by JRB. I've yet to listen to anything that he's written that I don't like or appreciate. I've been listening to his CD, Wearing Someone Else's Clothes a lot these days and this week, my JRB song du jour is Someone to Fall Back On. I was just reading a review in which someone said this might just be the most honest love song they've heard. I agree. It's simply beautiful, honest...a great song.

* * *
SOMEONE TO FALL BACK ON
~Jason Robert Brown

I’ll never be
A knight in armor
With a sword in hand,
Or a kamikaze fighter;
Don’t count on me
To storm the barricades
And take a stand,
Or hold my ground;
You’ll never see
Any scars or wounds -
I don’t walk on coals,
I won’t walk on water:
I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone’s wildest dream,
But I can stand behind
And be someone to fall back on.

Some comedy -
You’re bruised and beaten down
And I’m the one
Who’s looking for a favor.
Still, honestly,
You don’t believe me
But the things I have
Are the things you need.
You look at me
Like I don’t make sense,
Like a waste of time,
Like it serves no purpose -
I am no prince,
I am no saint,
And if that’s what you believe you need,
You’re wrong - you don’t need much,
You need someone to fall back on...

And I’ll be that:
I’ll take your side.
If I’m the only one,
I’m used to that.
I’ve been alone,
I’d rather be
The half of us,
The least of you,
The best of me.
And I will be
Your prince,
I’ll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences
In your name. I will, I swear -
I’ll be someone to fall back on!
I’ll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you’ll let me,
I will be the one you need.
I’ll be someone to fall back on:
Your prince,
Your saint,
The one you believe you need
I’ll be - I’ll be
Someone to fall back on.

IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT

I'd like, just for a moment to be sappy...and post lyrics to two great Cole Porter songs -- In The Still of the Night and Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye. I first heard both songs back in my I'm-obsessed-with-Phantom of the Opera days. Michael Crawford sang these songs in his Songs From the Stage & Screen album back in the '90s and I immediately connected to them and found an even greater appreciation for them after seeing De-Lovely. However, since Crawford's versions are the ones I heard most often, I can't help but almost prefer hearing him sing them vs. anyone else...yes, I admitted that publicly. Tianyi told me I'd like De-Lovely and would appreciate Cole Porter even more after seeing the film and she was right.

I've always been partial to the Gershwins & Irving Berlin, but I certainly do know how to appreciate good Cole Porter.


In The Still of the Night
~Cole Porter

In the still of the night
As I gaze from my window
At the moon in its flight
My thoughts all stray to you

In the still of the night
All the world is in slumber
All the times without number
Darling when I say to you

Do you love me, as I love you
Are you my life to be, my dream come true
Or will this dream of mine fade out of sight
Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night

Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night

---

Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye
~Cole Porter

Ev'ry time we say goodbye, I die a little,
Ev'ry time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,
Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.
Think so little of me, they allow you to go.
When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Ev'rytime we say goodbye.

When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to
minor,
Ev'ry time we say goodbye.

PASSION

One of my guilty TV pleasures is a little syndicated show by the creators & executive producers of The Real World called Starting Over. I admit, when the show first premiered, I thought (having not even seen it) that it was no better than The Real World but for "soccer moms." Who really wants to watch 6 women picked to live in a house, and not only have thier lives taped, but to struggle through each of their many "issues"?! As a woman, I acknowledge that I have plenty of my own problems thank you very much. What makes anyone want to watch women working through their issues on TV? There is enough crying and cat fighting and yelling and crazy stunts to make anyone want to run away...or so I thought.

One day, while at work, I had the TV on and for some reason decided to watch Starting Over. I watched these women in season 1 deal with issues of weight, self esteem, loss, death, family, mothers, fathers, independence, sense of self...wait a minute...these are not just issues I can relate to, but issues all women seem to deal with. Maybe, this show isn't so bad. Then, Amy came on the show. I could relate to among other things, her sense of independence and her bad temper and grew to respect how she worked through it all and came out of it a better person with a better sense of self. I realized I was experiencing a loose form of therapy by watching all of this on TV, taking only what I thought was relevant to my own life. Yes, needless to say, I was hooked. There were very specific things I learned from watching these women deal with their problems and somehow, I was able to translate this to my own life (and yes, I still think it's very odd to experience that through television).

Starting Over is not just a fluff hybrid reality show/soap-opera -- the show gained it's authority when it won Best Special Class Series at the Daytime Emmy Awards May, 2005 and this year received several additional nominations. Ok, so I had to mention this as I still somehow need to justify the "quality" of the show because I am discussing it in my blog.

Anyhow, I was just watching reruns of Starting Over recently and Rhonda Britton (one of the "life coaches") brought up the topic of "passion" to the ladies of Season 2. She asked them if they ever had a passion for something while growing up and if so, what kept them from pursuing it further and is it something they would still pursue if their excuses didn’t stand in the way today? Every woman in the room had an excuse as to why they didn’t push themselves to pursue their passion and in the process lost their passion for their passion.

How did Britton respond to them?

"The reason we do not express our passion is because we are afraid of our power ... Passion ignites power. So I practice owning my power as a woman. [And] I'm always pushing against my fears. Usually our fears win, our fears show up as comparing and competing. It boggles my mind how quickly so many things can stop us from our passion because we're afraid of our power..." ~Rhonda Britton from Season 2 of Starting Over.

Interesting says I.

I've always respected people who have a passion for something -- I don't really care what it is, but it's important (to me) to have one. I find it hard to relate to people who aren't passionate about anything and often times feel bad that they don't know what that feels like or have lost sight of what it means. It's easier to let your passion slip away when fear takes hold of you, (don't I know that), but never let it go and always remember what your passion means to you.

Who are you? Expressing your passion is expressing in part who you are. Loose your passion and you loose sight of yourself. Maybe that's why I was able to relate so fully to what has come to be one of my favorite songs. If I forget the meaning of this song and the way it made me feel the first time I heard Sutton Foster sing it, then I've surely lost my passion for my passion.


ASTONISHING
(sung by Sutton Foster)

There's a life that I am meant to lead,
Alive like nothing I have ever known.
I can feel it and it's far from here.
I've got to find it on my own.
Even now I feel its heat upon my skin:
A life of passion that
Pulls me from within.
A life that I am aching to begin.
There must be somewhere I can be
Astonishing...

I'll find my way
I'll find it far away
I'll find it in the unexpected and unknown
I'll find my life in my own way
Today

Here I go
And there's no turning back
My great adventure has begun
I may be small
But I've got giant plans
To shine as brightly as the sun

I will blaze until I find my time and place
I will be fearless,
Surrendering modesty and grace
I will not disapear without a trace
I'll shout and start a riot
Be anything but quiet
Christopher Columbus
I'll be Astonishing
Astonishing
Astonishing...At Last"

~ from "Little Women: The Musical"