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Wednesday, May 03, 2006


It's been awhile since I've posted here. Lots of random thoughts have been running through my head, nothing worth posting unfortunately.

So I haven't been writing nor have I been listening to music much lately. Interesting enough (to me at least) I think there is some sort of correlation between my lack of posting with my lack of listening to music. As any regular (or irregular) reader of my blog will note, that my writing largely focuses on music, specifically on musical theatre and that is what really inspires my writing. Even if my writing has nothing to do with musical theatre, there is something about the genre that helps bring about my need to write (and I generally do listen to it while writing). For some reason though, I couldn't even bring myself to listen to my music and enjoy it as I usually do. Was I going through a music dry spell? Were showtunes finally getting to be too much for this admitted showtunes fanatic?

To answer myself, yes, sometimes music (or any "obsession") can get draining, particularly when one listens to it with the same fervor and ferocity as I do. After weeks of hibernation, I finally turned on my iPod and tuned to Music of Heaven after reading JRB's inspiration for writing the song. Like JRB, I too have "only the most distant relationship to religious faith" but for some reason, the lyrics to this song are as powerful to me as JRB's experience sitting in the theatre listening to the Broadway Gospel Choir. For me, music has always been able to express feeling and emotions that words cannot and in hearing Music of Heaven and JRB's inspiration for the song, I was reminded of this even more. There have been times when music was the only thing that I could really understand and connect with because it has a way of bringing out my passion for life and all the other things I love. So once again, I credit JRB's music for inspiring me...because I really connect with his writing and in all seriousness, it brings out something that fuels my soul.

* * *
Music of Heaven
by Jason Robert Brown

I come with my armor in place,
Emotions in check,
And thinking I’m smarter,
Or just more realistic.
I sit with my frozen smile,
All the while
Reluctant to trust what I’m told.
Cynical, cold,
Challenging music of Heaven
To open a crack in my chest
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Should puncture me, suddenly
Blessed, blessed, blessed -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

They sing and they cry and I watch,
Lean back in my chair,
The classic New Yorker,
Alone among millions,
Indifference upon my face,
Out of place,
But longing to feel what you feel...
Like it was real;
Like there could be music of Heaven
That opened some path to your soul
And let something glorious in.
Music of Heaven
Allows you to give up control ...
Yes, yes -
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin.

And I sit there with dry eyes
And cold hands
Judging and standing apart.
Dry eyes
And cold hands,
Waiting and wondering
When will it open my heart?
When will it open my heart?

When will I open my heart?
I hear you sing
I hear you sing (Holy Father!)
And I want to say, “Yes!” (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes! (Yes!)
I hear you singing... (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I want to sing (Holy Father!)
I want to sing Holy Father! (Holy Father!)
And I want to say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Say yes! Holy Father!
Say yes!
I need to sing (Yes!)
Holy Father! (Yes!)
I need to cry
I need to believe! (Holy Father!)
And I can say Yes! (Holy Father!)
Yes (Holy Father!)
Yes... (Yes!)
I can say yes, yes, yes (Yes!)
I will say (Yes!)
Yes, yes, yes... (Yes, yes, yes...)
Let the music begin.
Let the music begin


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