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Friday, May 13, 2005

ASTONISHING

Maybe the reason I loved Little Women the Musical is because I can really relate to Jo. Of course the reason this story -- from the novel to the many films and the musical even -- is so popular is because many little girls can relate to her energy and drive.

When I was a little girl, like Jo, I wanted to be a writer -- this was one of my first goals and dreams. Laura Ingalls Wilder was my inspiration and I believed that one day, I would write great stories. I believed my life would be one I could only dream of, so in the meantime, I would write about it. I wrote things from scripts to "teen serials" (a la The Babysitter's Club/Sweet Valley High) to sequels of my favorite book (Beaches) to the life that I wanted to live with the people I wanted in it. I wasn't willing to settle for anything less than my dreams. Nobody would convince me otherwise and like Jo, I knew that "I'm meant for something more" And somehow, I had to know.

And while I always held my dreams -- no matter how many times they were thrown or seemingly dashed -- I never forgot what it was that I had to do with myself...until I experienced devistating loss -- Papo and Mamo's deaths.

So I know how Jo felt when she lost Beth. I know the pain, the confusion, feeling like giving up...trying to find meaning in what happened and then realizing that by giving up, I am giving up on those who loved me and who I lost...and that I couldn't allow my dreams to die with them. Life certainly goes on...and though it is sometimes hard to accept, it must.

I guess I should really re-read the story again.

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